Weird how visual acuity changes while out here cruising. You see all the magical hooks and lines that attach you to places and people much more clearly. While involved in work, or play in a place you’ve stayed for any length of time the hooks and lines weave around you; psychically, and often physically , surrounding you as a spider does with its prey. But as you begin to cruise all the ties that bind you become more apparent. The farther you cast your selves from shore the clearer they become.
I’ve tried to not post a lot of personal family stuff here as I’m of the thinking that some of the people I may write about don’t wish to end up on a public forum.
But; right now a family member has stage 4 cancer. When you go cruising; life doesn’t stop for those that are land based.
Years ago; 30 years or there abouts, we were cruising the N loop in the Caribbean and the two forms of communication were snail mail and land lines. There was no internet, no cell phones, no pactor modem. In the approximately 15 months we were out we picked up mail maybe 6 times. That left a window of 4 to 10 weeks between communication with back home. We phoned the US maybe 4 times. Phone calls were prohibitively expensive in the Caribbean then and we had tried to cruise on about $10 / day (it ended up at about $15 / day if truth be told). During our year one of W’s favorite aunts died. She passed away, had the funeral, and was buried weeks before we knew. Out there; sailing in the deep blue, 30 years ago, you grieved alone.
Now a near and dear relative is close to the end of their life’s tunnel. What to do? How many trips can a cruiser make back to family in any given time frame? We just went back for my nephew’s wedding. Should we return again? Will a return effect our transiting the canal at the right time of year? Will it hold off our leaving he Caribbean? Will we regret not going back? Questions bounce around in my head like a pin ball being played by an experienced player. Questions with no clear cut answers.
I’ve always bragged that I’m socially illiterate. In some ways I honestly am and others not. But I try to be conscientious. And what my conscious tells me is all a mess.